|Look for the shafts of light on the road
||[Jan. 19th, 2017|01:20 pm]
was reading a throw away article the other day, and someone was stating that they felt we should invest in junk food stocks for the foreseeable future, as folks will often turn to horrible for them food when they are depressed/anxious/upset with how things are going.
thought was interesting, as i've had something of the opposite experience in the last few months.
for various reasons i've not been good about getting to the gym [and really need to make a home gym here when we have budget again (the elliptical a friend allows to live here is absolutely finally dead =\ wont even power on)], but i have been actually really good about not grazing/over eating mindlessly. i do not stay within my calorie goals for the day [it's strict-- ~1400 as a base--because my body requires less than 1300 calories to go about a sedentary 24 hours--added to as more than sedentary hours occur--being short and female really gives you a small beginning calorie base, as sad as that is to accept, and my metabolism is set to slow as a default (that can be shifted upwards given proper exercise etc of course, but the default is still where it goes back to when things slow down in one's activity)] many days, but it's mindful, an informed choice, and often not too excessive.
i've also stopping drinking every evening with food as a default. i still have alcohol sometimes, every week even, but it's calculated, not a given, and hopefully not too often a coping mechanism.
and thus i am again at an even lower weight than i've ever been as an adult [it's been a progression, and something i could say for over a year, but the number keeps dropping, so it keeps being even more true, if that makes sense in english]. some of that is lost muscle mass, which i wish to put back on, but not all, and i'm fitting into a lot of clothing i could not fit into previously--and conversely am having to give away a lot of clothing that i used to love, as it no longer fits properly. also a progression, and good for me, even though it's hard at points, as memories are buried in the cloth; but i can always take photos [digital space is basically free to us these days] for the feelings.
and it is interesting, because i absolutely did used to use food as a source of comfort, or a reaction to depression or boredom or lack of excitement for life. and it's great to not be doing that right now, a habit/awareness i hope to maintain for the rest of my life.
i do not really think it's entirely a reaction to all the awful things that are occurring in the world at large, but it's not happening in a vacuum either...so it's hard to pinpoint what leads into it. but it is something i wish to note down for myself.
i notice i've not been Instagramming of late, likely to do with lower energy/depression, and I want to consciously get back to that, as I think it does add to my joy in some ways. If nothing else, it keeps me making photographs, capturing moments, images, a slice of vision that is beauty centric. and people giving likes and comments are a tiny jolt of pleasure, and that's always to the good.
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